Thursday, March 26, 2009

Bryant March Madness

Dog Park
I took the kids to the park the other day. (Our local park is awesome. There's a great walking trail, two cool playgrounds, a skate-park, and even a dog park.) Caroline just has to visit each spot at the park. We walk, we swing, we watch the boys skate or "skape" as she calls it (and we hope that they don't drop a heinous cuss word while we observe their amazing tricks that almost always end with a thud.) And we look at the dogs in the dog park. This time, however, I let her go inside the small dog area. (Which was really sweet of me because I don't love pets.) The area was fenced in and I had been toting 20 pounds of John Robert all over the place, so I parked it in the grass while Caroline ran around and harassed the small dogs. There was a poodle with clothes on the size of a large rat that did not seem to care for children and a few other dogs further away in the field. I began to talk a mom that I had been walking around with and the next thing I know all the dog owners are looking at me like "is that your child?" I turned around and Caroline had her head down in the dog water fountain licking it. She looked up at me and was like "this for Caroline!", "this my water fountain!", "turn on the water mommy". I have heard that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a humans. Let's hope that is true.

Time out!
Bo and I just started a series of videos on parenting. We need it. Parenting is challenging. There are days that completly suck the life out of me. Tuesday was one of those days. We have been using time out or "room time" some lately with Caroline. When Bo got home on Tuesday I told him that I needed some room time. Caroline looked at me and said "oh Mommy, what did you do?" "Did you hurt John Robit?" "Did you hurt him??"

Clean-up, Clean-up
I was cleaning up the kitchen the other day and Caroline was "helping me". I let her have her own squirt bottle of water which I thought was a brilliant she wouldn't keep asking me for the Clorox or some other chemical. Next thing I knew everything I didn't want "cleaned" was dripping wet. The television, the furniture, etc... So the next time we cleaned, I let her have a sponge. She was busy scrubbing away with her sponge, while I worked with my back to her cleaning the counter tops. When I looked up I noticed that she was no longer cleaning with her sponge, she had grabbed a used coffee filter full of coffee grinds and had "cleaned" the floor, an upholstered chair, and her brothers exersaucer with it. (Which if you do not know what an exersauser is, it is basically a contraption he sits in that has toys with all kinds of nooks and crannies for coffee grinds to sneak in.) I am still finding them everywhere. Upon being caught, she of course looked up at me and said "I cleanin' mama!". No telling how many coffee grinds John Robert has eaten while gnawing on those toys. She can make some serious messes while cleaning.

Speaking of John Robert...
If the dog bowl story did not make you gag, this will... I was at my Mom's the other day and John Robert fell asleep in my arms so I laid him down on her couch. When he woke up I picked him up and noticed that he smelled terrible. I was like "mom, you have to smell him, he stinks!". She said "maybe he pooped". I was like like "no mama his head stinks". Then I noticed that there was poop on his head. I was like "what in the world!?" I looked at the couch where he had been sleeping. Then I realized what had happened. My mom's little dog was sleeping on the couch too. She had a "dingle-berry". She got too plopped on the couch....transferred to his head. Enough said.

We had to take poor Caroline to the emergency room last night. She got a fever of 105 degrees and I don't mess around with that kind of temperature. The doctors (and I) suspected a UTI and needed a sample from her. She was a big girl and went on the potty which was awesome because the other option would have been a catheter. She was promised a popsicle if she could go on the potty and sure enough she was rewarded with a grape popsicle, the test was positive, we got a perscription for an antibiotic, a stuffed monkey and a pinwheel and headed home at 1:30 Am. It was a late night party for us all. Even John Robert stayed awake for each moment. The kids enjoyed being bounced on the hospital bed and watching Peter pan and The Lion King.

Popsicle Stick "humor"
Caroline talked about THE Popsicle ALL day and so I decided to take her to the grocery store tonight and let her get some. (She is still having fevers on and off and I thought the popsicles would be a fun treat for her.) She was thrilled, she got a box of Dora ones. When we finished dinner we all ate one. John Robert shared mine. It took me back to being a little girl, because the sticks had jokes on them that you had to eat the popsicle to get the answer. I was excited! I read Caroline's joke out loud and then encouraged her to eat up so we could hear the punch line. Her joke read: What has spots and rides on a fire truck? You won't believe the answer....A fireman with Measles. What!?!? Are you kidding me? What child knows what measles are?? That is twisted. I was furious. Bo and I were so disgusted by the ridiculousness of that "humor". My popsicle joke was not much better: Why does a rhino have so many wrinkles?....because they are too hard to iron. Huh? I don't even get that. Whoever came up with that...much less agreed to print them onto children's (DORA THE EXPLORER!!) popsicles??? They need to be fired!


Writeaway said...

The dog poopie was about the worst thing I can imagine dealing with on a baby! Nasty! You won't forget that!

Sutton said...

I can not stop laughing. Every one of those stories was ridiculous. RIDICULOUS.

I love you so much!

AtlantaMama said...

WOW! What an update!! Crazy stories... I'm sorry about the high fever and the ER and all of that, but it sounds like she will be OK. I also think that the jokes were created by someone in another country and then it just sounded really stupid in english?!!

carolineb said...

You crack me up! I love your stories.

Nysewanders said...

You're life is pure comedy! Lets play.

Amy said...

Seriously. I cannot quit laughing OUT LOUD LOUDLY at your stories. Please keep 'em coming. I also gasped out loud at the pic of Caroline's hair!! Priceless on so many levels.